


I'm falling, fading, & seeing angels (you could be the death of me)

by afterglowposie



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, Hope after Malivore, idk what this is, mostly Hizzie, they're all gay messes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 12:43:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20724395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/afterglowposie/pseuds/afterglowposie
Summary: Hope Mikaelson hates falling. Hates the feeling of slipping, losing her grip on reality. But the worst part isn't the falling. She knows the landing is the worst, because the landing kills.She never thought falling would change when she starts falling for Lizzie Saltzman.





	I'm falling, fading, & seeing angels (you could be the death of me)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting any fic i've written, so I hope y'all enjoy. there's a lot of falling involved.

This is how she will always remember Lizzie Saltzman.

Pushing her over the side of the old wooden dock, into the cool body of water below them, with a smile on her face. A sarcastic comment, _ you seriously can’t get over that jar of mayonnaise but you can stop Malivore single handedly? _

Leaning out of a car window with the wind in her hair. 

Standing over her, sly grin on her face as she realized she’s outsmarted Hope in a duel. 

How there were tears in Lizzie's eyes when she remembers who Hope was for the first time, immediately rushing to her side and wiping the blood off her eyebrow, the strangled “_ Hope?” _As Hope collapsed into her arms.

The two of them alone in Lizzie room, after Hope has managed to calm Lizzie down and stop the flickering lights around them. Lizzie’s sad and tired voice as she struggles to keep the tears at bay, _ Do you think I’m broken? _

Hope telling her that even if she _ is _broken, she doesn’t care. That it shouldn’t matter, because broken things can be smart, and kind. That they’re just as important as fixed things. That Hope cares for her, no matter how broken Lizzie feels.

And in return, Hope tells Lizzie how she feels like a cosmic mistake; someone who should have never been born. That she doesn’t feel like her father’s daughter. The confidence in Lizzie’s response is the only reason why Hope believes her. 

_ If you feel that way, then I guess you are. You are a cosmic mistake, but you’re the best one out there. If being the person you are is a cosmic mistake, then I don’t care. You’re the most beautiful cosmic mistake I’ve ever witnessed. _

After that, Hope gets a falling feeling in her stomach. Every time Lizzie looks at her. Every time they link pinkies in a promise, or just an excuse to get close to each other. 

Some days Hope feels light again. Like she’s flying. Or like she’s falling. 

(_ she’s falling._)

She doesn’t like the feeling. She never has.

Hope falls in the middle of the summer. Nearly two years after she comes out of Malivore, a year and a few months since Lizzie remembers who she is and brings her back from the darkest moments in her life. 

Sometimes she thinks that she was always falling. Has been from the moment Lizzie remembered her after Malivore. Since she pushed her off the dock. Or maybe it was since the day they met, even after the ten years they never really spoke to each other, Hope had always found herself looking for the blonde girl. Or it started when she was in Malivore, alone with all of the monsters and Clarke, and one of the only things that kept her grounded was hearing Lizzie: _ We did not wait ten years to become friends with you for you to not come through with your annoyingly perfect Hope Mikaleson heroics when we need you the most. _ When she was frustrated. When she was lonely, and scared, she heard, _ We’re in this til the bitter end. _ Those words kept her from spiralling, knowing that _ someone _ would be there for her once she returned. 

It feels like an endless drop, her stomach always in her throat. The ground seems so far away. Always out of reach. 

Hope’s scared of falling. She hates the feeling. Hates how her stomach creeps into her throat, how she can’t grab onto anything to prevent her from falling. But that’s not the worst part. 

She knows it’s the landing that kills. 

She was afraid of the landing with Landon, despite how sweet and kind he was with her. 

The landing in Malivore nearly destroyed her.

Lizzie’s a little more rough, a little more broken around the edges, but Hope doesn’t mind. She finds it kind of funny that it took her nearly nineteen years and being erased from Lizzie’s memories to realize that she rather get hurt in the landing with Lizzie than fall for anybody else.

She starts to think that she won’t mind the rough landing she’ll have with Lizzie, the screaming and crashing. All of it is worth it.

* * *

“Do you think the stars can see us?”

Hope turns her head. Wet grass sticks to her cheeks but she doesn’t care. Lizzie is laying next to her, head tipped back. _ They’re star-gazing _ , Lizzie said. _ Sometimes I feel so small _ . _ Broken _. 

They drove to the edge of Mystic Falls, to a spot with wide, flat stretches of grass. Lizzie pulled Hope out of the car, her hand cool against Hope’s warm one. If she cared, she didn’t say. She just pulled and pulled the way she always pulls Hope - ignoring the resistance that melts into acceptance quicker than Hope will ever admit to anyone. 

_ Sometimes I feel so small _ , Lizzie had said. _ Like that nobody sees the real me. _

_ I see you, _ Hope replied with a shrug. _ You have a big heart. You just don’t let people see it. But I see it. _

_ I let you see it. You can see right through me, Hope Mikaleson, and I’m starting to dislike that. _

_ Well, you see right through me, too. _

“Maybe. I don’t know.” Hope answers. 

Because maybe they can and maybe can’t. Maybe they don’t _ want _ to. Hope’s only a Cosmic mistake, not a book with all the answers to the universe. She’s never really studied stars, anyways. But Hope knows the feeling. Some days she avoids the mirror like she avoids her past. Slinks around corners and keeps her head down. 

“I wonder what they think of us.” Lizzie questions. She’s still looking up at the sky. 

“They probably think we’re idiots,” Hope makes a face, thinking about the events she witnessed earlier. “At least, they think Penelope is an idiot.”

“But she’s our idiot,” Lizzie sighs, smiling. Ever since Penelope returned with a cure, Lizzie’s gotten this weird love and respect for Penelope. Hope doesn’t mind, because it means that she can call her avengers squad whenever she needs to without upsetting Lizzie. Lizzie and Penelope actually make pretty good friends, anyways.

Lizzie’s hand shifts in the grass, some blades brushing against Hope. “They’re ours.”

“We’re theirs,” Hope corrects. “Mystic Falls, too. We belong to them now.”

“That sounds so weird,” Lizzie finally rolls, propping her head up on her hand. Hope looks back up at the sky. Her heart is falling in her chest now, sinking into her stomach. “Don’t tell me you’re one of those people who think we all have a bit of stardust in us.”

Hope shrugs. “Maybe not you, but _ I _ definitely do.” 

She can basically hear Lizzie roll her eyes. “Well, if we _ all _have stardust in us, does that mean I belong to you?” 

_ Oh. _ Hope forces down the bubbling hope in her chest. Grinds her back teeth together. She was not expecting their conversation to take this turn, but she’s talking to Lizzie Saltzman. She should _ have _ expected it. 

“I’ve only belonged to one thing before. Or have one thing belong to me, I guess,” She admits. Lizzie knows. Lizzie knows almost all of her secrets. The only one she doesn’t know is the one. She only knows part of it, how her father, uncle and mother all died to protect her. Hope keeps locked inside of her, even as it pushes against the line of her mouth, dying to be spoken. 

What Lizzie knows about her and her family is common knowledge to anybody who attends the Salvatore school. She’s only had to explain it to one person, and that was Landon, and even then, she only told him the tip of the iceberg. 

“Your family?” Lizzie breathes out, like she’s terrified to ask the question. 

“Yeah,” Hope mumbles. “They taught me always and forever.” Hope gives Lizzie a look immediately after she realizes what she stepped into. 

“Don’t you dare sing Taylor Swift.” She tells the blonde, and Lizzie has the courage to look disgusted. 

“I wasn’t going to!” She counters back, “Are you going to tell me or should I go waste my time somewhere else?” 

Hope sighs, not able to hide the smile ghosting her lips. She’s gotten used to Lizzie’s remarks. Used to the way Lizzie cares for people. How Lizzie has just as many walls up as she does, and possibly more. Hope doesn’t mind. She’ll climb every one.

“They taught me forever and always. When I was a kid, I didn’t really understand. I felt awkward saying it, or I just didn’t want to, y’know? But as I started to get older, I understood. My father wasn’t an easy man to love. None of us are easy to love, but I loved all of them, and all of them loved me,” 

Hope pauses for a second, taking in a sharp breath to stop the tears from falling. “Always and forever. No matter what, we’d fight for each other, support each other. I lost that feeling once my father died… After Malivore… I told myself to never let myself feel that way again, be apart of something.” 

Hope never wants to talk about her family. The burden that comes with them, and Lizzie never presses her for any information. She _ never _wants to, but she wants Lizzie. And part of wanting Lizzie comes with the way Hope trusts her. 

“But I’m starting to feel that way again,” Hope admits. “With you. Josie, Penelope. And MG.” 

“Awh,” Lizzie coos. “You love us.”

_ I love you. _

“Shut up,” she grumbles. She lets Lizzie lean into her. Ignores the steady thrum of her pulse coursing through her. Ignores the way her heart skips two beats before it resets. Ignores the burning skin where Lizzie’s hand curls around her arm. 

Each time, she falls a little more. A gradual fall, maybe. An inch by inch. It’s been like this since the start, she realizes. The worst part is that she’s not trying to stop herself. 

She’s already stopped trying to stop herself. 

She doesn’t want to stop falling anymore. 

Lizzie tugs at her arm until they’re laying back in the grass again. Her hand stays there, tangled in the sleeve of Hope’s shirt. The afternoon rain still clings to it and her jeans are damp against the back of her thighs. 

“I want to stay here forever.” Lizzie whispers.

The words feel too heavy in her mouth, like cement, but she says them anyway. “I do, too.”

“With _ you _.”

Maybe Lizzie doesn’t know what she’s saying. Maybe she doesn’t know how the words stick to the inside of Hope’s ribs. Maybe she doesn’t know that Hope takes them out at night in the room that doesn’t feel like her own and she stares at them until they feel real. Maybe Lizzie doesn’t know that they put air into her lungs when she feels like she can’t breathe. 

Maybe she does.

That almost makes it worse. 

Because if she does, she doesn’t say anything. She continues to feed these words to Hope, continues to put air into her lungs without accepting anything in return. 

And Hope doesn’t want to keep taking, but she needs to breathe. When she’s with Lizzie, she _ wants _to breathe. 

* * *

Hope dreams about Malivore occasionally. 

Her dreams have been less frequent recently, which Hope is thankful for, but the less she dreams, the more she finds herself spiralling. Instead of haunting her in her dreams, she’s haunted when she’s alone in her room. When a teacher dims the lights in the classroom. When she’s walking the halls and sees a shadow. When she sees a particular statue that makes her pause for a few seconds.

When Lizzie isn’t with her. 

Lizzie always manages to keep memories of Malivore at bay, somehow. As if Lizzie has seen every second of what Hope went through. She’s there, stopping Hope’s spiral. But not this time. 

They have a new professor, and he’s supposed to teach them all about current problems in the supernatural world. The thing is, Hope keeps a low profile from the new professors. She doesn’t want them to know who she is, so she sits in the back of the classroom and counts down the seconds until she can see Lizzie again. See any of her friends. To see them and know they’re all okay. 

She’s starting to wish she made her presence a little more well-known, because she’s in the back of her lecture, hiding in the dark as he changes their projection slide to their topic of the day. 

Hope wasn’t looking at the projection until she heard him say Malivore, and when she looked up, she saw a picture of him. His deformed brown face, the shape he somehow took while she was trapped there. The shape Clarke took once they hit the bottom. 

Her breathing starts to come out short and fast, and her palms become sweaty. Her professor drones on and on, seemingly clueless. She only draws attention to herself when she can’t handle the overwhelming memories coming from just a picture, and she runs out the door. 

She tumbles down the stairs, trying to the tears at bay. Reminding herself that he can’t hurt her anymore- not really. She might have a cursed stone following her everywhere- but Malivore himself? He’s gone. Can’t touch her or her friends. 

It’s not enough, and she’s walking down one of the halls until she collides with somebody, their hands instinctively going to her waist. She immediately knows who hands they are. 

Lizzie's hands. 

She staggers in them for a minute before her feet steady. Lizzie is still close, her forearms against Hope’s heaving rib cage. She still can’t catch her breath. Lizzie is too close. Her perfume and her hair overwhelming. She can hear Lizzie say something, but it falls flat.

“What?”

Lizzie lifts an eyebrow slowly. “I asked if you are okay?”

“Yeah, Hope, you don’t look so hot.” MG adds, and Hope sighs. 

“I’m okay,” she pants. “Just a little winded.”

Lizzie frowns. MG accepts her request, clasping a large hand on her shoulder as he walks past. “Okay, as long as you’re good,” he gives the two of them smile. “Don’t forget, forced bonding time is tomorrow.” 

Hope is already shaking her head. Her hair catches on the soft cotton of Lizzie’s Salvatore top. She’s still so close. Close enough for Hope to make too many mistakes. Close enough for Lizzie to know _ exactly _what’s wrong, and Hope hates the feeling. She doesn’t want to burden Lizzie with anything anymore. 

“Is there any way I can get out of it?” 

“I’m already going with him,” Lizzie says. She flashes MG a smile. “All of us haven’t hung out in a while.”

Hope groans. “I can’t do it this week, I have a thing.” MG pouts at Hope. “Sorry, education sucks.”

Lizzie frowns, too. “Please? It’ll be just us. And your favorite person, of course.” 

_ You are my favorite. _

“Who?” 

“Charlie.”

Right, of course. The fish that MG bought. The fish that always tries to attack Hope and runs into the glass whenever Hope gets near him, before settling down and starts watching her every move. The group finds it funny, but Hope finds him annoying. It’s like even something as stupid as a fish can sense everything she’s been through. 

“Great, count me in.” Hope says sarcastically. 

Lizzie pouts. “What's wrong with family night?”

_ Family night. _The words make Hope freeze again. Of course, after everything they’ve been through, they’re family, but the idea of it being her friends still feels a bit foreign. She feels like she’s trapped between Lizzie and a hard place. 

These days, she usually is. And Lizzie pulls her out, away from a hard place. Hope always chooses Lizzie. 

But now she’s starting to wish that she doesn’t, that she lets herself get distant again, just a for awhile. She needs a break. Away from Lizzie being there for her, away from the school and her friends. Just for a few hours. 

She feels guilty for feeling this way, because she loves them. She really does love them. She loves MG and his goofiness and the way he makes her feel big. She loves Penelope and her unwavering faith in her. She loves Josie and her optimism. How they all don’t care about the baggage she carries, because it’s not about that. 

She loves Lizzie. Loves everything she possibly could about Lizzie. 

Lizzie's hand slips into hers. She ignores the way MG’s eyes drift towards it. 

“I, uh, I have to go back to class.” Hope mumbles, letting go of Lizzie’s hand and walking past MG.

* * *

Hope wonders if her fall has an end to it. Everything a black, endless hole with no knowledge of what lies in wait at the end of it. Even Malivore didn’t have such a big fall. 

Except that she knows what waits at the end. Destruction. Heartbreak. A darkness she’s not sure she’ll find her way out of. 

She’s thought about asking Penelope, unfortunately. She’s talked to her about it a few times, but she’s still left a lot unsaid. Her friend seems to know more about falling for a Saltzman twin than anybody else, so her options are limited. 

“What are you thinking about?” Lizzie whispers. 

They’re shoulder to shoulder in Lizzie’s bed. The streetlight outside of the window casts a shadow across the bed that makes Hope’s heart hammer in her chest. If Hope wakes up too suddenly, too desperate for air in her lungs, she sees the pit of Malivore. All of the monsters inside the pit, hears Malivore’s haunting voice ringing in her ears. She remembers how scared she was, and feels small again. The mighty Tribrid, knocked down to the lowest level. Alone. _ Forgotten _. 

Lizzie knows. She always knows. She wakes up just as quickly. She pulls Hope into her side and runs her hands through Hope’s hair and whispers into Hope’s ear. Holds her tight, just like she did after the Miss Mystic Falls Pageant, and if not, _ tighter. _

_ I’m here. You’re safe _ , Lizzie mumbles. She recites random facts. She lists the elements on the periodic table. She reads the bad pickup lines Penelope keeps dropping in their group chat. Sometimes she whispers more soothing words, _ I got you. Just let it out. _She says just enough to pull Hope back from the crumbling edge. She is enough. Reminds Hope that she’s enough. 

Hope shrugs, her shoulder against Lizzie’s. “Sharks,” she decides on. “Penelope watched a documentary on them last night. Did you know that the Thresher Shark stuns its prey with its tail before eating?”

Lizzie snorts, in that normal Lizzie Saltzman way. “_ That’s _ what’s keeping you up?”

Hope turns over. Tucks her hands under her chin. “Fine. What are _ you _ thinking about?”

“Leaving,” Lizzie exhales. She turns, one arm under her head. “Going… anywhere.”

The hum is back. Low in her stomach. Lizzie's eyes flash in the streetlight.

“Where would you go?”

“_ We _,” Lizzie corrects quickly. “You’re coming with me. We’re in this until the bitter end, remember?”

Hope’s jaw clenches. The words were soothing once, but now when Lizzie says it, Hope can’t help but let her mind wander. What’s the bitter end? One of them dying? One of them leaving without a trace? Or do they end up getting a happy ending, a life away from everything they’ve been through? 

“Where are we going?” she asks. 

_ I’ll follow you anywhere. _

Lizzie sighs wistfully. “Anywhere. Ireland. Where do you want to go?”

Hope thinks about it. Thinks about the places she thought she’d always visit. The feeling she gets when she thinks about going back to New Orleans. The places she can never go now. Bitterness starts to slip along her spine and she curls in, looking away from Lizzie. “It doesn’t matter, does it? We can’t actually go anywhere. Not anymore.”

Lizzie reaches out with one hand. She pulls at the hem of Hope’s shirt. Something she keeps at Lizzie for nights like this. “Hey,” she says softly. “We can still dream, can’t we?”

Hope snorts. “But why? What’s the point?”

Lizzie pushes in so close that her nose brushes Hope’s forehead. “If we don’t have dreams…” She swallows and Hope watches her throat bob with unsaid words. “What do we have, then?”

_ Nothing _. 

“Reality,” Hope mumbles. “And the reality is, Princess, that we’re not going anywhere.”

Lizzie's forehead presses down against her own. Whispers, “At least we’re going nowhere together.”

Lizzie kisses her and Hope falls and falls. 

Lizzie seems to fall, too.

* * *

  


The rock rattles on her nightstand. Hope tries to ignore it. Tries to push it to the back of her mind. But it hums loudly over the things in her head and she finally turns over in bed, grabbing it. 

It settles in her hand and Hope feels something vibrate through her chest. 

Maybe it’s fear. Maybe it’s not. 

But now that she’s holding it, she can think.

About Lizzie. 

About kissing. 

About kissing Lizzie in Lizzie’s bed and kissing Lizzie in the car and kissing Lizzie in the third floor bathroom. In the corner of the library that’s just theirs. In the gym to distract her during a training session. About kissing Lizzie everywhere. 

If Hope thought she was falling before - if she thought she fell at the start of the summer - then she doesn’t know what this is. A free fall. Maybe this is Hope closing her eyes and jumping out of a plane without a chute or a backup plan. 

“This is gross,” Lizzie whispers. She swings a leg up and over the windowsill, careful to avoid the dirty laundry piling up beneath it. “When are you going to wash these?”

Hope looks away, embarrassed. The truth is, ever since Malivore, she hasn’t found something as simple as doing her laundry important. She hardly sleeps, and most of her time is now consumed by classes, whichever monster is making its presence known, or with her friends. Or with Lizzie, kissing her, touching her, letting herself be consumed by the love Lizzie gives her.

“When are you going to start using the door?”

“Uh, _ never _?” Lizzie slides into the room. “Windows are more romantic. Romeo called Juliet through a window, didn’t they?”

Hope puts her rock back on her nightstand and sits up. Pushes the comforter away. “They died, you know.”

Lizzie shrugs a shoulder carelessly. “I must have missed that part.” She pauses at the foot of Hope’s bed before she toes her shoes off, kicking them away into the darkness. 

Hope can see the hesitation in her eyes. She feels it in her stomach, too. It churns over and over. There’s something comforting about her not being alone. About Lizzie feeling this way, too. 

“Can I?”

“Yeah.” She says it too quickly. Too earnestly. 

But Lizzie doesn’t seem to care. She kneels on one leg, hovering over the bed. Hope exhales a rush of courage that still catches her off guard and reaches forward. Winds her hand into the front of Lizzie’s shirt and pulls. 

Lizzie falls, one hand on the headboard and the other at Hope’s shoulder, Hope’s hand at her waist. They flex and curl in the belt loops of her jeans. 

_ Don’t let go. _

“Hey,” Lizzie whispers. She lifts a hand and brushes some of Hope’s hair back off her face. 

“Hi.”

“Is this-“

“Yeah.” Hope winces. Too quick again. 

Lizzie smiles and it makes Hope’s hands tremble. She’s falling again, slipping and sliding and she doesn’t care. Lizzie's breath ghosts over the planes of her cheeks. She doesn’t care. Lizzie's palm burns hot through her shirt. Lizzie leans in and she’s been kissed before. But nothing that has ever prepared her for what it’s like to kiss Lizzie Saltzman. Lizzie shifts above her. Her mouth is warm and soft. She’s careful, kissing slow and firm until Hope’s mind goes comfortably blank.

Kissing Lizzie Saltzman feels like she’s holding something fragile. It feels like she has her hands on something that doesn’t belong to her. Something she can break as easily as she can breathe. 

It feels she’s falling, and for once? She’s not afraid to land. She welcomes the landing. 

* * *

Lizzie pulls her hand across the bed. Her fingers trace over the lines of her palm and she stops at the small bundle of nerves over her wrist. Lizzie hums. 

Hope lifts her head. Opens one eye. “What are you doing?”

“Looking at your future.” Lizzie drags a nail down one of the lines. 

Lizzie’s touch tickles. “And?”

Lizzie continues to hum softly, matching Hope’s coin in her pocket. “Your lifeline is looking a little short.”

The joke falls flat in the space between them. Hope winces but Lizzie pulls, keeping her close. 

“Your love life, though…” Lizzie looks up, her bottom lip caught in her teeth. “Well, that looks promising.”

Hope feels her face burning. “Does it?”

Lizzie hums again and nods. “I’m seeing… a girl in your future.”

Hope laughs. It’s louder than she expects it to be. Lizzie smiles anyway. Comes closer. Shifts on her elbows until she’s resting her chin on Hope’s shoulder, hands tangled between them. 

_ I love you. Please don’t let go. _

Lizzie comes closer and Hope feels the earth move. It shifts and shakes beneath her, unsettling her from the place she’s standing on. She’s tumbling head over feet, moving too quickly. She wants to turn. Run. Never look back. But Lizzie is there. Matching her step for step. Jumping when she jumps.

Falling when she falls. Hope prays.

“So… a girl?” The words stick to the back of Hope’s throat.

Lizzie nods. Her chin brushes Hope’s shoulder. “Yeah. She’s blonde.”

Hope squeezes Lizzie’s hand in her own. “I like blonde.”

“I like _ you _.” Lizzie breathes. 

There it is. Them. The thing they haven’t talked about. There’s kissing and there’s sneaking into bedrooms late at night and afternoons in the back of Lizzie’s car with the windows down. Sitting together in their History of Werewolves lecture and holding hands underneath the table. 

But there’s still this thing. This voice in her head that says she’s falling alone and there’s no one jumping down to meet her. This voice that says Lizzie thinks this is fun. That she’s doing this to pass the time. That this won’t last forever, that Hope something will happen and ruin their chances. That Hope will destroy it, because at this point, Hope has realized that she’s a cosmic mistake, and the worst kind. The kind that ruins everything it touches. No matter how good it is.

The voice is loud and she can’t always fight it off late at night when Lizzie is slipping out the window she came in from. 

But Lizzie whispers _ I like you _ and the voice stops. Goes quiet. Leaves without a trace, as if it was never there. 

“You do?”

Her voice shakes. Her hands shake. She knows Lizzie can hear it, feel her hands shaking. But she shakes and she waits and Lizzie just reaches out to her. Smooths two fingers over Hope’s cheek. Leans forward. 

Lizzie whispers. “Duh. I didn’t realize you were so oblivious.”

Hope bends and snaps, lifting the last few inches between them and kissing Lizzie. She slides her hand along Lizzie’s neck, fingertips curling around Lizzie’s jaw. She’s done this a thousand times, and if she does it a thousand more, she’s still never feel like she’s done this enough. Lizzie sighs into her mouth, her tongue wet against Hope’s lip. There’s a hand at her shoulder, then her neck. It slides into her hair and tugs gently, pulling Hope closer. 

Lizzie presses closer, her hips against Hope’s hips. “You like me?” she questions. 

Hope nods, stealing kisses with each dip of her head. “I do.”

Of course she does. Of course she _ has _. But Lizzie doesn’t know that. Lizzie might never know that. Hope won’t say it. Won’t even think it when Lizzie’s hand is sliding out of her hair to the hollow of her throat. Won’t think about it when Lizzie kisses like this. Like she already knows. 

She doesn’t know. Hope is sure she doesn’t know.

When Lizzie’s hand drifts lower and lower and Hope falls with it. 

A few hours later, after Lizzie finally agrees to leave as any normal person would through Hope’s door, Hope rests her face in her hands and breathes deeply. She almost can’t believe it. 

She grins as Lizzie sends her a text. Listens to the soft steps of Lizzie’s leaving her hallway. She lays back on her bed. Rest her head on her hands. Breathes. She doesn’t understand what Lizzie does to her. 

They were touching all night. Lizzie’s hands soft and confident. Slipped her hands under the hem of Hope’s shirt and around her back. Stayed there for a few minutes before going up to the clasp of Hope’s bra. Hope touching Lizzie, and her hands still shaking, still a bit clammy. They’ve been like that since Malivore, but Lizzie didn’t care. Just kissed Hope harder and covered Hope’s hand with hers. 

And Lizzie accidentally whispered the words _ my girlfriend _ into Hope’s mouth. They looked at each other, Hope staring into her blue eyes, and she could see the slight panic Lizzie had from her slip up. Running fingers through her blonde hair. She likes the idea of being Lizzie’s girlfriend. 

_ Girlfriend? _ Hope teased, even though she felt normal again. A normal nineteen year old. With a girlfriend. She could use some normal in her life. _ I like that. _

Lizzie grinned at that. Squeezed Hope’s hand. Kissed her neck, traced her fingers over the curve of Hope’s ribcage. 

Hope really can’t believe it. 

Relationship. They’re in a relationship. _ She’s _in a relationship. Her first one since Malivore and she has a girlfriend. Lizzie Saltzman is her girlfriend.

Her rock thrums on her nightstand. It rattles and now she’s starting to feel like her heart is in time with the rock. Matching her heartbeat. Connecting her to the ruins of Malivore and everything else she saw while she was down there. Falling and falling with her. Causing her to fall. 

Hope holds onto the rock and wills it to stop moving. Closes her eyes and hopes for it to stop moving, to stop following her, and it stills in her hand. But it sits in the palm of her hand, waiting to do something else. Anything else. 

Hope knows she should tell somebody. Like Penelope or Josie. She should tell Lizzie, because Lizzie’s her girlfriend and she trusts her more than everybody else. 

She decides to stay quiet, because it’s a secret. It’s been one for nearly two years now, but only decided to start messing around with her now. Maybe it’s just her mind playing tricks on her. Maybe a way for her to refuse that Malivore is really gone. 

The rock is a secret. For now.

Hope doesn’t mind. She really doesn’t. She wants to keep falling where no one can see her. Wants the rock to mean nothing. 

* * *

  


There’s something wrong with the rock.

Instead of following Hope’s heartbeat, it’s vibrating. Hard enough to bounce around in her drawer, making noise, even as its hidden in a sock. Loud enough to keep Hope up at night. Enough for Lizzie to notice that Hope’s moved all of her dirty laundry to her closet, and hide the rock in the pile, because that’s the only way she can keep it quiet enough for Lizzie to not know. 

Hope stares at the ceiling and wonders what it means.

Before, it was okay. It gave her some sort of life, a reminder of what Hope was able to overcome. Now it pulses with a mind of it’s own and scares Hope. Burns now, when she tries to pick it up. Too hot for her to pick up at times. 

She wonders what it means. Wonders if it’s actually connected to her somehow, that it’s heating up and is out of tempo with her heartbeat because things are heating up with Lizzie. With Lizzie spending the night in her room, the two of them kissing and touching, and then Lizzie kissing her thighs and Hope’s pulling at Lizzie’s hair. Maybe it’s because Hope has kept it a secret for so long, it’s coming back to bite her in the ass. 

She wants to ask if her friends feel different. Feel a strange gut feeling that something bad is about to happen, that something bad is coming their way. She doesn’t ask. Instead, she finds more ways to occupy her time, more ways to stay longer at MG’s room, ways to sleep in Penelope’s room on days Lizzie can’t come over. Starts doing her sessions with Emma again, but never mentions the rock. She mentions Lizzie, how she makes her feel like all of her past trauma can’t hurt her anymore. 

Which is true, only until she sees the rock again.

So she hides it. She wraps it in a sock and carries it in her backpack instead of her pockets. Hides it under her mattress when she sleeps. Tells herself that if she can’t actually see it, it’s not there. Wonders if Lizzie can feel it when she comes over late at night. Wonders if Lizzie feels it when they kiss, or they whisper secrets under the sheets. If she does, Lizzie doesn’t say anything. 

Something has to be wrong with it, but Hope doesn’t ask. Doesn’t share it with anybody.

She just holds it tightly for now. Keeps it close. 

She holds Lizzie even closer.

* * *

“Quiet,” Lizzie pants. She’s pushing Hope into the mattress, hair wild.

Hope’s hand still at Lizzie’s hips, palms flat. She tries to fine-tune her hearing but there’s nothing. Nothing out of the ordinary, at least. Nothing but Lizzie gasping softly and the buzzing of her rock wrapped in a sock tucked in her dresser.

“Do you hear that?” Lizzie asks. 

Hope shrugs, “Hear what?” 

“Nothing.” 

Lizzie shifts above her, hips rolling into hers. Hope fights the noise bubbling in her throat. Pushes it back down. She scratches at the soft skin beneath her hands. Bites her lip when Lizzie shifts away and smiles down at her.

“What are you-”

Lizzie puts a finger to her mouth and shakes her head. Hope lets it stay there. She focuses on Lizzie instead. Watches her hair swing back and forth as she leans further towards the door. Slides her hands over Lizzie’s sides and traces lines into her stomach. Hope.

“Okay,” Lizzie leans back over her, shifts her hips back until they’re pressing into Hope’s thighs. “Okay. _ Hi _.” She breathes. 

“Hey.” Hope mumbles back. Lizzie’s leaning closer again.

Hope meets her halfway. She kisses Lizzie like she’s drowning. Like she’s never known air before. Lizzie threads her fingers into her hair and pulled her up from the dark. Stops her from falling. Keeps her steady and in one place and whole. 

There are fingernails behind her waistband and Lizzie sits back just enough for Hope to lean forward. Just enough to chase. To lift up off Lizzie’s bed and follow her wherever Lizzie is going.

A hand against her hip bone. A finger dipping below her jeans. A mouth hot against her neck, whispering up to her ear. A slow roll of pressure against her hips. Lizzie fumbles with the button on her jeans. Misses it twice before it catches and releases. 

“Is this-”

“Yeah.” Hope clears her throat clumsily. Hands on Lizzie’s sides. “Yeah.”

For the first time, she’s climbing instead falling. Her chest aches and Lizzie kisses the ache away, as if she can somehow feel it, too. Her body burns, and Lizzie’s next to her. Then her climb is over and she’s falling again. 

Falling again and Lizzie’s with her. Kissing her, holding her. Looks at her in a certain way that makes Hope think. 

Think that maybe Lizzie’s falling, too. 

Falling with her. Falling down without an end. Accepting the free fall with Hope. 

* * *

Penelope gives her a seven of spades, glaring over her hand.

She ignores her. “Got any eights?”

“Go fish.”

Hope picks up a card. Nothing she can use.

“Got any… fives?” She hands her a five of diamonds. She pokes her tongue out of her mouth, thinking. “Got any… news on you and the _ other _ twin?”

Hope throws a card at her shoulder. It bounces off her and ricochets back towards her. She grins.

“No.” 

“But Hope-”

“_ No _.”

Befriending Penelope was simultaneously the best and worst thing Hope’s done. Penelope Park is easily the most annoying, nosiest little shit that Hope has met, but she’s also one of the few people Hope knows she can depend on. 

There’s also the fact that Penelope is a peoples person, and no matter how much Hope masks her emotions, Penelope seems to know exactly what she’s thinking, or going through. Which means no secrets. No matter how private Hope wants to keep certain parts of her life. 

Penelope sighs. Puts her cards down. She tries for that face she makes when she wants to be serious, but she just looks like a dumbass. Hope tells her that, and Penelope sticks her tongue out. 

“She likes you.”

_ I know she does. _

“And?”

She reaches out and takes her cards from her hands. “You like her.”

_ I know I do. _

“So?”

Penelope groans and throws herself on the floor of her bedroom. Drapes a hand dramatically over her face. She waits a few seconds before she peeks out from behind her fingers, sighing again when Hope doesn’t seem to care. “Hope.” She whines. 

Hope kicks weakly at her side. Penelope doesn’t need to know that they’re already ahead of her. She can practically hear Penelope mocking her once she finds out they’re actually dating. Hope’s surprised that she’s been able to keep it from Penelope this long. “Knock it off.”

“You should tell her.”

“I’ll tell Lizzie I’ve been crushing on her when you tell Josie you’re still madly in love with her. Or I’ll tell her for you.” 

“You bitch, you wouldn’t.” Penelope sits up so quickly, Hope has to fight the urge to jerk back. 

Penelope’s right. Hope would never, but she gets a kick out of seeing how red Penelope gets at the mention of her unwavering love for Josie Saltzman. It’s nice to see Penelope being the embarrassed one for a change. 

“Besides, I think she hates me.” Penelope adds, almost nonchalant. “For breaking her heart and leaving, I mean. She says she’s forgiven me and wants to be friends. I know it takes time, but I’ve made it obvious I still love her and want her back.” 

Hope hates it. Hates how Penelope _ still _feels that way, even though it’s been a few months since her return. Anybody would be oblivious to not see the love between the two girls. Penelope flew across the world to find a cure for Josie and Lizzie, for Christ’s sake. And she succeeded. 

“She still loves you,” Hope tells her, but only because it’s true. She hears it being shared between the two twins when she’s falling in and out of sleep. She hears it when she asks Josie how she is, and the first thing the brunette replies with is _ Penelope and I hung out today _with a smile that Hope is starting to think Josie realize she has. “Maybe you should just, I don’t know, ask her out again?” 

“And risk getting rejected? I’m good.”

Hope laughs. “Penelope Park? Being afraid of rejection? You’re _ that _ smitten with her?” She teases. 

“At least she knows how I feel, idiot.” 

“Oh, I’m shaking. You got me so good.” 

Her rock starts to rattle in her nightstand. She can feel it. It pulses hard under her skin. She looks up sharply. Penelope is still flopped backwards with her hand over her face. She wonders if she feels it too. Or if it’s just her.

“I’m just saying,” Penelope finally says, her voice soft. The one she uses with Josie. Her serious, this matters voice. “Go for it, you know? We only live once and all that shit.”

“And all that shit,” she echoes. She’s technically lived twice. Hope doesn’t want to get into that now, though. 

Penelope rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean. Life’s too long to be spending it loving the wrong person or pretending to not care about someone you love.” 

“Is that what happened at that school in Belgium?” Hope asks. Penelope doesn’t talk much about her experience from there, always brushing it off. “You wasted your time loving somebody else?” 

Penelope gets that look that Hope only sees when she regrets what she’s done. “At first I was a mess,” Penelope says with a shrug, “I wasn’t focusing on my classes. I was obsessed with finding a cure for the merge, and it didn’t really help that I ran into Caroline there. My roommate was trying to help me. She ended up having feelings that I didn’t. I lead her on, I just couldn’t get Josie out of my head.”

“So you found a cure for the merge and you came back.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Because you love her.” 

“Obviously,” Penelope looks towards the door. There’s only been too many times Josie has interrupted their time together at the wrong time. “What about you… What helped you get out of Malivore?” 

Hope hesitates. She has no reason to hide the truth from Penelope, but if she speaks it now, it’ll be the first time she’s verbally admits how much Lizzie has helped her. It’s a scary feeling, even knowing that she’d never lose Penelope’s support over it. 

“Lizzie.” 

Penelope raises a brow, and Hope sighs before she elaborates. 

“The day for Miss Mystic Falls, she told me, ‘we’re in this til the bitter end’ and, I don’t know, that one thing that made me feel less alone,” Penelope’s quiet, genuinely listening to what Hope has to say, which is a rare thing for Penelope. “At first I felt bad for not thinking about Landon, because I loved him, I mean, I still do, it’s just that… Lizzie was the reason I tried to get out, and then she was the first one to remember me, and she hasn’t hasn’t left me since. It’s just…” 

“Different with Lizzie?” 

“Yeah. I thought that if I survived Malivore and met her again, we’d really be in it until the bitter end. I don’t care as much when I’m with her. I just want to be with her.” 

Penelope shakes her head, “Oh, we’re screwed.” 

Hope rolls her eyes, “_ You’re _ screwed. You’re the one who hasn’t talked to Josie yet.” 

The rock keeps shaking. Keeps reminding her that it’s there, that Malivore isn’t completely gone. She knows it’s stored away in her drawer, away from her and Penelope. That it’s just a rock and it can’t do anything, but it feels closer. As if the rock is in her pocket, or in her hand. Or that maybe she’s wrong, and it _ can _hurt her and Penelope.

When Penelope leaves, she takes it out of her dresser. Stares at it in her hand. Watches as it trembles, watches as it falls in line with her heartbeat, giving off a strange glow as her heart beats. 

She shoves the rock under the mattress and picks up her phone. Tries to ignore that Lizzie’s name fills her recent calls list.

“Hey, it’s me.” She looks around the room. She can see a faint light under her disheveled comforter. “Want to come over?”

Josie’s voice, “Sure. What’s up?” 

* * *

Penelope finally talked to Josie, Hope realizes one day. 

She’s sitting next to MG, ignoring his complaints about their monopoly game in front of them. She can tell by the way that Penelope’s hand constantly brushes Josie’s, the way Penelope smiles, one of her real ones, when the corners meet her eyes. 

Hope knows that Lizzie has enough of it when Penelope’s hand falls onto Josie’s thigh, out of a habit. She gives Hope a look and she can already hear the complaints Lizzie will have later that night. _ Did you see that? Satan seriously won my sister over again? Without telling me? _

“We’re out of popcorn.” Penelope announces. 

“Maybe if you didn’t eat it all.” Lizzie counters. 

“I was hungry.” 

“Well, go get more if you’re still hungry.” 

“But it’s my turn.” 

Hope and Josie share a look. Even with Penelope’s and Lizzie’s new friendship, it’s hard for them to not constantly throw insults at each other. Hope’s surprised that they’ve made it this far without any bickering between the two, until now. 

“I’ll get some more.” Hope offers. 

Lizzie shoots up, “I’ll go with you.” Behind her, Penelope gives her a thumbs up, and Hope rolls her eyes.

They forget about the popcorn. Hope can barely catch her breath, and it doesn’t help that Lizzie has her trapped against the cool metal of a counter. Doesn’t help that Lizzie’s hands are everywhere, doesn’t help that Lizzie’s whispering into her ear as her lips trail down Hope’s jaw. 

“Oh!”

Josie backs up suddenly, bumping into Penelope. Penelope stumbles back into MG, reminding Hope of lined up dominoes. 

“I knew it.” Penelope grins ear to ear, flashing Hope a thumbs up. “Get it, Hope.”

Lizzie slowly peels herself away and Hope wants to peel away with her. Curl herself into lizzie and slip away to a place where they’re alone. Lizzie isn’t shying away. She slips her arm through Hope’s, her fingers sliding down Hope’s arm until they settle at the wild pulse in her wrist. 

“I’m getting some,” Lizzie corrects. Penelope makes a face, and Josie refuses to look at any of them, her cheeks red.

MG claps his hands together in excitement. “Yo, you know what that means, Peez.” 

“No, I don’t,” Penelope grumbles, glaring at Hope. “Did you seriously _ not _ make the first move?” 

“Of course she didn’t!” Lizzie interjects, and Hope groans.

“Are you _ seriously _ going to encourage this, Lizzie?” 

“AH!” MG cheers, “I get my money back!” 

“Damn it, MG, you can go get a job if you need money so badly.” 

Hope’s heart stutters in her chest. “Your money?”

“I thought I’d win,” Penelope admits, with a shrug, and Josie gives the shorter girl a smack on her arm. “I’m out of $20.” She points at Hope. “You owe me a whole pizza and I’m going to eat it all by myself.”

Josie makes a face, “I bought you a pizza yesterday.” 

“Yeah, and?” Penelope questions. “What’s wrong with pizza?” 

“Nothing.” 

“It’s okay, I don’t need Hope’s lame ass pizza, anyways,” Penelope says smiling again, “All I need is you.” 

Josie’s turning red again, “You’re so… cheesy.” 

The two of them start laughing, and Hope wonders when the two of them started to share one brain cell. Before, the two of them had at least a few working brain cells. 

“We don’t sound that stupid, do we?” Hope asks MG. 

MG looks from her to Lizzie. “Sometimes.” 

“No, we’re the superior couple.” Lizzie counters. 

It’s falling apart, but it’s not as bad as she thought it would be. Lizzie is still close. Her friends are still there. The knot of fear in her chest - the one that comes and goes like the shaking of the rock and Malivore’s voice in her head - disappears slowly. Lizzie squeezes her hand and she breathes. 

Hope curses and digs into her pocket. She pulls out the rock. She forgotten that she stuck it in there in the morning. Everyone is looking at her, staring at the rock shaking in her hand. Lizzie reaches out to touch it, and pulls her hand away when she feels the heat. 

“What is that?” Lizzie asks, in her concerned girlfriend voice. The voice she gets when she’s actually worried. 

“I.. uh… It’s from Malivore,” Hope says. “I don’t even know. It just sort of followed me out. I’ve tried to get rid of it since.” 

That seems to be an explanation enough for her friends, because they’re all staring at the rock, more carefully than before. 

“We should talk to Dad,” Josie finally says. “He might know something.” 

And now Hope is afraid of her rock for a whole other reason. 

* * *

  


Alaric says something is coming. He doesn’t say what, and Hope’s starting to think he never knew anything to begin with.

How was she supposed to prepare herself for something she knows nothing about? 

She dreams about Malivore for the first time in months. 

Lizzie climbs through her window and Hope nearly puts her through the wall. 

“It’s okay.” Lizzie puts her hands up. Shows Hope the lines of her palms. Her hands are empty and her eyes are full of sympathy. “It’s just me.”

“Jesus Christ, ” She hisses. “Wear a bell.”

Lizzie's lips pull in a soft smile. “I called. You didn’t pick up.”

“So you thought you’d ninja into my bedroom in the middle of the night?” She takes a step back. Sits down hard on the edge of the bed. 

Lizzie sits down slowly next to her. She picks up Hope’s hand. Turns it over. Traces a fingernail down in a long line from the tip of her finger to her wrist. “Why didn’t you tell me about the rock from Malivore?”

Hope pulls her hand away. She had done her best to ignore her souvenir from Malivore. It was just a constant reminder of what she had gone through, everything she _ didn’t _ want to remember, but it followed her anyways. She tried throwing it away. Burning it, destroying it with magic, but nothing would work. 

“I didn’t think people would believe that I was being haunted by a rock.” 

Lizzie laughs softly at Hope’s tone.

“I would have believed you. I believe everything you tell me.” 

And Hope believes her. Because every time she’s opened up about Malivore with Lizzie, Lizzie has always been quiet. Absorbing the information, holding onto it. Learning Hope’s new habits, forgetting her old ones. Believing every single word Hope says, all because she wants to. Wants to be there for Hope in any capacity. Hope doesn’t respond, and Lizzie falls back onto the bed and pulls Hope with her until they’re shoulder to shoulder staring up at the ceiling. 

“I should put stars up there.”

Lizzie turns her head to look at her. “Like, glow-in-the-dark ones?”

Hope nods. Like glow-in-the-dark constellations. “Or I could just cast a spell, but there’s no way I’d be able to keep it up there forever.” 

“We’ll find a spell that’s permanent,” Lizzie insists. “We can go star-gazing and never leave your room.” 

That sounds nice. Hope doesn’t mind spending the rest of her life in her room, if it means she gets to be next to Lizzie Saltzman and looking at the stars. If she gets to look at Lizzie, too. It all sounds so comfortable and soothing. But they’d never be able to do it. 

Hope turns her head. Lizzie is close. So close. Their nose brush. She licks her lips. “Is that what you want?”

She’s asking something else. Lizzie knows. Lizzie always knows. 

“I want to go everywhere with you,” Lizzie whispers. “Is that okay?” 

There’s still room left to fall. Hope wasn’t sure there was, but there is. It’s right here in between them. Her stomach drops out like she’s at the peak of a rollercoaster and there’s nowhere to go but down.   


* * *

When she was stuck in Malivore, countless monsters told her that it only makes sense that she was stuck in there with them. That she’s a monster, too, that it’s her fight. Just like it was all of theirs. 

But she doesn’t want it to be her fight. She wants to go to her dorm and lay down under her spelled stars with her girlfriend - _ girlfriend _ \- and kiss her until she feels like the whole world is spinning in a blur around her. She wants to sit on top of the rundown train with Penelope and see who can throw rocks the farthest. She wants to spend the afternoon in Josie’s room and try to learn hundreds of old spells, and practicing them until they’re perfected. She wants to crowd the seat of MG’s truck and flick fries into the air for him to catch in his mouth. She wants to be able to go back to New Orleans and show her friends where she grew up. 

She wants to be nineteen. She wants her freedom back. 

Her entire life, she’s belonged to something. Her family, New Orleans, her legacy. Mystic Falls, and protecting the town as best as she can. But she wants to belong to herself. Wants to be able to leave whenever she wants, with whoever she wants, _ do _whatever she wants, but she never can. 

There’s a sea of monsters stretched out in front of them. She can hardly see the streets they fill. 

“I can’t believe Mystic Falls is our own Sunnydale,” Lizzie complains. She stands next to her, and for one of the first times in a while, their arms aren’t brushing, their hands aren’t glued together. “This is ridiculous, do we look like Buffy?

“There’s so many of them,” Josie says in awe. 

MG shifts restlessly. “Yo, what are we waiting for?”

The monsters shift and sway silently. 

“They’re not moving.” Lizzie is next to her, closer than before. Shoulders almost brushing. Their hands swing and nearly touch. “What are they waiting for?”

Hope doesn’t know. She wishes she does. If she had all the answers, she wouldn’t be standing here. She’d be with Lizzie. With her friends, being normal. Applying to a college. “Maybe they can’t do anything without Malivore? Or whoever’s commanding them.” 

There was a time when she couldn’t do anything without Malivore. Hovering in the background. Haunting her dreams. Malivore was in everything she saw. But now she breathes Lizzie in. Lives better through her friends and she’s sleeps Malivore away. Now Malivore was just a vague memory that she’s not sure truly exists. 

But now it feels like Malivore is back, pushing Hope away from her friends, pushing her safety net away. She’s been in a constant state of falling with Lizzie, but this is different. A fall that Hope is scared of. 

“Okay,” Hope mumbles, trying to think what they would do if they were the real Avengers. She vaguely remembers watching one the movies with MG. She racks her memory, “Okay, um…”

“Oh, my god, man, what are you doing?” MG asks.

“Um… er, Avengers…” Hope mumbles, and MG’s eyes widen. 

“Say it!” He says excitedly, and Penelope looks at the two of them. 

“What’s going on?” She demands, “We’re trying to not die over here.” 

“Avengers, Assemble!” Hope says, and MG cheers. 

“Oh, my god.” Josie and Penelope say in unison. 

They’re sloppy. They’ve been training together since they remembered Hope and she decided they should all learn. But it’s different when it’s putting Penelope on her back. Different when she’s stopping to adjust MG’s footwork. When she spending more time flirting with Lizzie. Mimicking Josie’s inspirational speeches.

They’re sloppy and the monsters are stronger. Stronger than Hope remembers. Too strong. They strike and strike and Hope’s feet slide in the broken asphalt. The wall of monsters pushes them backwards. 

The ground shakes beneath her feet and she knows that whatever is about to happen, they’re going to need to go all out. That maybe this isn’t going to work out in their favor, not when they’re all struggling to stop the monsters from coming to close. The monsters surge forward and Lizzie dodges them with too much effort. She steps too hard to one side and Hope feels her own stomach bottom out. 

She can’t wait. 

Lizzie can’t wait. 

Maybe if she hadn’t kissed Lizzie. Held her hand. Whispered that she wanted to go anywhere - everywhere - with Lizzie. Maybe if she hadn’t fallen. If she hadn’t let herself get close to anybody again, she’d hesitate. She’d stop and think what would the old Hope do. The old Hope would think everything through- do something she _ knows _is effective. Not because she’s an idiot. 

“Cover me.”

Penelope holds her breath for a beat. “Cover _ what _?”

“_ Me _ . Cover _ me _.”

“Don’t do anything crazy.” Penelope pleads.

“Hope.” Lizzie cuts through Penelope’s voice.

“We need to stop the first wave. We can’t get through them.”

“No,” Lizzie says loudly. “We can hold them off. We… We can do it, we just need to think. There’s has to be a way for us to top all of them. I just need to find a loophole.” 

But the crowd of monsters grows and Hope feels the rock in her pocket shake again. She looks at Lizzie, and she freezes for a second. 

_ I love you. _

Hope’s never said it before. Never whispered the words. She’s thought them. In the quiet of the morning when Lizzie is asleep and drooling on her pillow. Late at night when they’re playing board games with their friends, and Lizzie’s laughing at something MG said. In class when Lizzie draws hearts in the margins of her notes and writes her name on Hope’s thigh with her fingertips. When Lizzie hugs her after a long day, and Hope lets herself sink into her arms. When she breathes. 

“No.” Lizzie bangs a hand against a tree. “Don’t even _ think _ about it, Hope.”

Hope looks away. Looks again. Looks back at the monsters, and feels like they’re _ her _responsibility, thinks that she should’ve known that nothing good lasts for her.

“No!” Lizzie is shouting now. “Hope, I swear to god, if you-” 

“Cover me, Penelope.” 

She doesn’t wait, doesn’t slow down to see if Penelope’s listening to her. She just goes in, head first, like she always does. 

She gasps for air, trying to find even the smallest bubbles of oxygen. 

Then she sees Clarke. Clarke standing over her, in his deformed shape from when they were in Malivore. Clarke holding her by the throat, Clarke telling her that nobody’s going to be able to help her.

She sputters and kicks until she’s turned over, her back in the puddle she’s landed in. It seeps in through her jeans and her jacket and her legs feel too heavy. Too heavy to lift. Too heavy to kick again and sit up. 

It sounds like she’s in an air tunnel. She can hear too much and not enough. Her fingers scrabble over her chest, trying to peel away what’s left of the arm. If she can move it. If she can just scrape it away. Maybe she can breathe.

Clarke on looming above her. Clarke’s grip tightening on her throat.

Then it’s not Clarke. The hand is smaller. Warmer, gentle. Lighter on her skin.

The whisper in her ear fades and then it’s Penelope, above her, and she’s giving Hope a worried smile, “Hope!” 

Hope lets out a dry laugh, her cheek stinging. “Did you slap me?” 

“You scared the shit out of me, you deserved it.” 

She grabs at her arm, fingers slipping. “I thought-”

“You thought what?” Penelope shakes her a little. Causing Hope’s head to start lolling back and forth. “Thought you’d go and be a big hero? Newsflash, Mikaelson. We’re all supposed to be heroes,” She squeezes her again. Softly, now. Hope thinks she hears Penelope hide a sob. “Alaric is going to kill you.”

Hope spits up some blood. “Was kinda hoping the monsters would kill me first.”

“I’m next.”

Lizzie drops to a knee in front of her. She pushes her hair back out of her face. “Actually, I’m going to kill you first. Then dad can have his turn.”

Penelope’s arms slide away. Hope catches herself on her hands, arms shaking with the effort. “Lizzie, I-”

“You.” Lizzie shakes her hair out. “This isn’t some big action movie. You don’t need to go out dying a hero. You’re not fucking wonder woman or some shit.” 

Hope coughs. “Doesn’t that make you the love interest?”

Something in Lizzie’s face softens. “Only if you actually love me.”

Hope sits up a little more. Ignores the ache in her side and the way her arms feel heavy at her sides. “Lizzie, I’ve been spending every second I possibly can with you. I threw myself into a pile of monsters for you.” She gives Lizzie a crooked smile. The one that Lizzie can’t seem to deny.

“You threw yourself into a pile of monsters for _ us _. Because we have each other. We belong to each other, right?” Lizzie's hand shakes where it rests on Hope’s neck. “We belong to-”

Hope makes a show of sighing. “If you sing Pat Benatar at me right now…”

Lizzie's forehead pulls together. “We belong together.” 

“Until the bitter end, right?” Lizzie gives her a look, as if she can’t believe Hope just used her own words. “I love you, Lizzie.” 

She says it out loud and the words don’t sound foreign in her mouth like she thought they would. They don’t send Lizzie running like she thought they would. Lizzie leans closer. Rests her forehead against Hope’s and breathes in the same air Hope does. “I am going to sing Pat Benetar now.”

Penelope does the guitar solo somewhere behind them. 

Hope knows that somewhere down the road, there’s going to be things worse than what they’ve already dealt with. That the world would try to take away their happiness, crush the safe bubble she’s created with Lizzie and her friends. 

Lizzie's lips linger on her forehead. “I love you, too,” she mumbles a bit angrily. “I’m still mad at you for almost dying.” 

Hope laughs, forgetting that she’s with other people as she takes Lizzie’s face in her hands and kisses her. Lizzie holds her tightly. Pulls Hope in until they’re fused together. 

“Ew, get a room,” Penelope comments, and when Lizzie and Hope look over at her, she blows them a kiss and grabs a hold of Josie’s hand. “Okay, since I know all of you losers are alive, I’m out. Taking my girlfriend to my room instead of giving everyone a show.” 

“Penelope!” Josie scolds. 

Penelope just laughs, “I’m just kidding. I’m gonna take you out for dinner.” 

“Wait, I wanna join!” MG says. “I could use a trip into town.” 

“No, I’m trying to take my _ girlfriend _ out-”

“Nah, I don’t care. Superman needs to get some girls.” 

“Stop making Superman a slut, MG.” 

“Both of you are ridiculous,” Josie says, but she’s smiling. “I want a milkshake, by the way.” 

“Whatever you want, Jojo.” 

“Should we join them?” Lizzie asks. 

“Yeah.” 

They jog to catch up, and Hope feels better. Even when all of them are a bit banged up, a bit dirty and tired, but it feels normal. Feels like them, and Hope can’t stop the smile from appearing on her face. They hang out at the Mystic Grill for hours and laugh. Hope forgets about the rock from Malivore, it’s presence no longer bothering her. The five of them shoved into a booth, Lizzie’s hand never leaving hers. 

By the time they get back to the Salvatore school, Hope’s exhausted. She forces herself to take a shower, and by the time she’s done, Lizzie’s sprawled across her bed, and Hope just stands there, looking at her. 

“What?” 

“Nothing, you’re pretty.” Hope tells her, pulling an oversized sweatshirt over her head before climbing into bed next to her. They don’t talk. They stare at Hope’s blank ceiling, and eventually, Lizzie links their pinkies together. They share their unspoken promises, and when Hope rolls onto her side to look at Lizzie, Lizzie just smiles and pushes Hope’s hair back. 

Then they’re kissing, Lizzie’s hand playing with the strings of her sweatshirt and whispering _ I love you _ against her lips, and Hope feels safe. Feels like she’s finally returning to her home as she kisses Lizzie, holds her hand, as she pulls her girlfriend closer. 

Then they’re falling.


End file.
